1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.
2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.
3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.
4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.
5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.
6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.
7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.
8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.
9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.
10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.
11. You are allowed to be angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.
12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.
13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep."
Everyone needs this on their blog.
ang puso ko’y
kung ito pari’y
na kita kasi
Laslas-pulso, Tulo ang Dugo, J.T.
Hello guys! Yes this is me, Jazmin, blogging photos after being missing in action for weeks. It’s almost 1 a.m. and my urge to do something for my blog existed.
Last week has been very tough for us Filipinos, when Typhoon Glenda hit our decade-old trees, houses, and infrastructures with her howling winds, and destructive rain. In addition to that, the typhoon took away our power source, water, etc. My family just relied on cafe-hopping and relative-hopping (haha), and improvising a power source through a motor-battery-plugged-inverter whut, to power up our gadgets for a week! imagine the hassle it gave us. *wipes cold sweat*
- Our electricity went back last Saturday night, and I just let out one horrifying scream. Sorry neighbours.
- This morning, everyone felt cold due to electric fans and airconditioners. We were starting to get numb with the insane heat. Nasanay-sa-walang-kuryente-much.
- Mom and I went to Shakey’s for Massi’s first birthday, yay! I never felt so old while watching the party host calling kids in front, and labeling 16 and above adults. Damn.
- Filled up Ateneo’s never-ending application form. It’s a lot, I was not finished yet though. But just a keepsake for myself: Ano naman yung hirap if it will be worth it? We never know. My fate is odd. Kaya mo ‘yan! Self-empowerment na kung self-empowerment, pero kailangan kong gawin e. Kaya ko ‘to! - I wrote this in my planner.
I just wanted to write all these down, calm myself, have a breather, remember my goals, be positive and stay on the brighter side. My head honestly fleeted with too much emotional, intellectual, and mental shiznits… it drowned my system. I am just happy I have Ate Myra to talk to and exhale all the things in my head with someone who understands. Hoping for a great week, prelims week, game on!
Lies lies lies. These are all lies. I can’t stand this anymore, I am going to undress the truth whether you like it or not.
- x: She's happy.
- y: No. Don't you see her eyes? Look into her soul, she is one sad, walking tragedy, swept by her own knees.
My hands are trembling. My head is spinning. My heart is breaking.
For no apparent reason.
For consecutive years, I am experiencing this kind of anxiety, this kind of depression. For years, I still don’t know why and it is very difficult to have it and does not know where the triggers are coming from. It’s dangerous for me, fatal. Lord please help me to help myself. Please.
Coffee for the weak!
Please pray for the Philippines, stay safe guys!
(June 12, 2014) After watching volleyball try-outs at school, I asked permission to my parents to pay a visit in Monte Cafe (which I was eyeing for months!) to spend me time and study session for couple of hours.
Mom dropped me by inside then boom… I was free! The minute I finished ordering at the counter, I started roaming around, taking pictures of this lovely lounge.
I saw to it that I will not sit in front of that hipster, red-bricked wall (yes it is red) although I really wanted to, but the side table wasn’t spacious enough for my study shenanigans.
Here is my pretty nook! Coziness: 100/100
Will I pass as an Interior Photographer now?
Ordered Charlie Brown Coffee, double shot, with Chicken Alfredo. The coffee did not surpass my standards with the textured and lingering taste I am finding, though. Chicken Alfredo was garnished with Parmesan Cheese, chives, and various meats, with three bread sticks.
One barista came over and asked if I needed anything, and I am really sure that I looked sullen all over that time. I asked the wifi password, and s/he answered happiness with a “Fug, I know you are sad, please be happy now. I’m offering a frickin’ wifi password please cheer up!!” tone. Thank you. :)
How Monte Cafe encourages their customers to read with their big-lettered mural read fascinated me. What did not is, their Esquire magazines. Sarrey.
I studied for hours while texting with M.S. Good thing I managed to finish two reviewers for prelims this week.
"Ganyan talaga, we are creatures of solitude."
Mother nature called, I needed to pee, and this happened. Darn it, very much related to my sticky situation; it’s 3am and I think I will be weak later for the reason that I am not sleeping yet.
Turn on those cozy lights!
Three hours passed and another barista walked up to me to remind that they have reservations in my nook at six. Shemay, pinapaalis nila ko. Hahahaha kidding. So I finally decided to visit the loo, fix myself, and browse the menu for one last time… and that moment, I ate outside.
Moments of solitude kicked in. I was alone.
Ordered Asparagus soup, nothing special about it, but the mere fact that it was creamily crafted made me crave for more. Glutton.
“Give me my caffeine and nobody gets hurt!”
Father fetched me at six-forty and I was really full! My selfie-date turned out strengthening, I found myself again. I am looking forward for more in the future!
Ratings: Food: 8/10 Coffee: 8.5/10
“Thank God Myra Sanchez Samson exists.”
— Tabuena, 2014
Whenever I get the chance to talk with Ate Myra, (which is everyday lol), it is something I do not put into waste. Every message has sense. Be it love, brokenness, and life in general. She has this euphoric feeling that every single time I talk to her, I feel home, I feel like I have known her for decades. I feel happy for the simple reason that I found an older sister who accepts, does not judge, treats me well, and loves me dearly.
Our interests meet very well, and we still find ourselves surprised when we knew one thing or two, that is similar again between us. And so that, I am thanking God that Myra Sanchez Samson exists. I love you, mom, inay, ma.
Maayos nanaman ako. Moved on na, I finally crossed that invisible finish line. Ikaw?
I’m fine, cherishing every great thing in life. Fun!
May i-ttry lang ako. Hahawakan ko ulit yung kamay mo, aalahanin lahat: masaya, mababaw, masakit, at malalim na naramdaman. Kumbaga instinct checker ko if I am really over you. So, can I?
*hinawakan yung kamay, napapikit*
*dumilat, ngiting dismayado’y naipinta*
Biruin mo ‘yon? ‘Kala ko babalik e, ‘kala ko mag-sisink in ulit lahat ng masasayang panahon and the fleeting feeling. Kala ko gugustuhin ko nang bumalik kasi nandito ka na sa harap ko. Pero wala. Parang wala na lang nung hinawakan kita. I do not yearn for your hair anymore when you laid it down on my shoulder while crying on the 31st of August three years ago. I did not yearn for the silly dances we made in our office anymore, I did not yearn for your comfort when I was in the midst of ambiguity anymore, I did not yearn for the memory of you and I, writing each other, helping each other, loving each other anymore. I did not crave for that crestfallen feeling when I do not see you. I did not yearn for your embraces and advises anymore. And lastly, I do not yearn for you anymore. And that is something I should be gratified for. That excruciating pain you gave me do not bother me at all anymore. Some songs may give me that sighing feeling, but no. I really am over you. Wala ng kabog sa dibdib ko.
Mabuti naman, do you still remember what I said that it is hard to miss people? Then I told you not to miss me? I hope everything made sense now.
Siyempre. ‘Di ko makakalimutan ‘yon. The details may be as vague as they can be now, pero sinulat ko lang naman lahat ng sinabi mo sa akin no! Gano’n ako ka indulged and desperate sa pagmamahal mo, which I realized na sobrang sabaw. *giggles*
I can really see your aura and the changes and who you become after three long years, ang daming nabago. And I hope may naitulong ako. Huling tanong. Minahal mo ba talaga ‘ko? Mahal mo pa ba ‘ko?
Bakit? Mukha bang hindi? Kapag sinabi ko bang mahal pa rin kita, may magbabago ba? Will things go back to its original state? Will your heart fall free on me? No. Wala eh, di talaga tayo pwede. Ang masasabi ko lang, the cautiousness you caused me is the greatest of every single thing you told me. Dahil wala pa ring nakakapantay sa’yo. Good luck sa buhay and thank you.
Salamat din. Love you.
Huwag mo ko I love you-hin, I can’t say it back anymore.